Let Your Light Shine

This summer, the theme for camps is "Light Up The Sky" so there was all kinds of fun stuff about light and fire and stars and candles everywhere. My "thing" is generally worship, which suits me. Even though my personal preference is not the "happy-clappy" style, there is a simple beauty to the innocence of summer camp worship that is always striking and moving and powerful to me. One of my jobs is working on the evening Vespers. My active, visible, role is kind of a comedic character that does a little bit of scientific teaching. I know it's hard to believe that I can pull off playing a nerd, but I do it quite well and have a blast with it. But underneath it all, there's still theology happening. It doesn't always come out in the way I might envision it, but it's always there and powerful and there are moments when I can see things clicking in these little heads.

My other big project for this summer was working on the communion service, in particular doing the altar. I had the freedom to just kind of take off and run with all these ideas and materials that I had and it was amazing. I spent the majority of the day of the communion service locked away in the auditorium working on it. And while it doesn't seem like setting a table would be an all-day affair, it was more than simply doing a job. This was a holy moment for me. I turned on my favorite album of hymns being played on the piano (The Living Room Sessions by Chris Rice in case you're interested) and I was just praying as I went and as I worked. I could feel the Holy Spirit in that place in a way that I don't often feel it anymore. I could feel it working in me and through me and it was absolutely beyond words. When I had done everything I could do, I took a step back and was absolutely in awe of what had happened in that place.

I've thought about it before, but worship planning and design really and truly is something that suits me. This is a part of my light, and I'm so incredibly thankful for things like this that give me the chance to let it shine. I really do feel so incredibly fulfilled when I have the chance to be creative in that way. I don't know of other ways/places I could work this into my life, but I know that when the chance comes I'm not going to pass it up!

Rest and Vision

It's almost time for summer camp!! Who is excited? THIS GIRL!

I have had a complicated relationship with my beloved Camp Sumatanga throughout my life, particularly related to summer camping. It was an amazing place full of amazing people that I credit in large part for helping me become the person I am today. But I was a relatively late-comer to the camp world, not until I was a sophomore in high school. I dove in head first and soaked up everything I could, serving any way I could. But there was a part of me that always felt like I was an outsider. Even now, there is a group of folks that I generally went to camp with that get together regularly. I love them all and think of them all fondly, but I am not a part of their group. Yes, it still hurts. Yes, it will probably always hurt.

After I graduated from high school I decided it was time to take a step back from camp for a while. Something just didn't feel right about it anymore. It didn't fit the way it once had. I knew I was trying too hard to make myself squeeze into a place that I would never fit and it was better for everyone if I backed off. Life happened and I got busy and I stayed away for about 7 years. I still have a hard time wrapping my brain around the idea that not only could I be involved in something for seven years, I could be AWAY from being involved in something for seven years and have returned! My return was generally thanks to a wonderful saint named Allison who somehow never forgot about me and saw something in me and wanted me to be a part of her camping magic that she always works.

Coming back, everything suddenly fit. I had a place. I had people. I know that a part of that was my own personal growth that had taken place (and has continued to take place over the past several years). I felt like I was a part of something that mattered. I was able to connect - with God, with people, with myself. It really was a homecoming in the best sense of the word. 

I'm sure I've said it before but I'll say it again because it matters. The name "Sumatanga" means "a place of rest and vision." While you are working on summer camp, those concepts seem a bit elusive. But it is a kind of rest from the things and stress of the world and allowing yourself to simply be and take the things of the day as they come. The vision is definitely there, but it is something that you have to be open to seeing in fleeting glimpses. I definitely see moments where the Kingdom is right there in that place. I see moments where I know who I am and why I am doing what I'm doing. I even see hope and peace and joy and love and all these other amazing things that are so much harder to see in "real life" and thus reminding myself what it means to look for them. The REAL rest and often times the understanding of the vision comes later, but without this time and place couldn't come at all. Let me tell you, there is NOTHING like the sleep you get the night you come home and crash into your own bed after an amazing but exhausting week! 

I need the rest. I need the vision. I need the excitement and exhaustion and sunburn and chiggers and laughter and sweat and tears and hugs and everything else that comes with a week at camp. I need to be reminded of who I am and whose I am. And so I will joyfully return...

Academy Update

So it finally dawned on me that I never did my usual update after my last session of the Academy for Spiritual Formation. It was a very full week of experience but was very different.

The first thing that was different is that I had to leave early because we were going to a wedding for Jeff's cousin in Georgia. I am so incredibly glad we did, but it changed the dynamic of the whole week because I know there were plenty of times that I wasn't fully present. It was different from my late arrival at session 3. Part of this that made it hard was that, in order to avoid the multiple vehicle issue, Jeff drove me up and dropped me off for the first day. This wasn't really a big deal except that I didn't have as much time to "settle in" as I normally have or like. I also had to hit the grown running as soon as I got there, which is not really something that seems to "fit" with my experiences there.

Day 1 - our theme was "hospitality"

The reason I stayed so busy during last session was that I had volunteered to do the altar design for the week! Although I attended a workshop on altar design a few years ago, this was my first chance to actually do it! I can honestly say it is probably the most fulfilling creative outlet I have ever had in my life. I loved my quiet time in the worship space at the end of each night after everyone had gone to bed and the great silence was being observed where I could allow the Holy Spirit to move with me and within me to create something meaningful. Although it's not exactly a secret who does the altars each time, it's not really broadcast either. I don't have much interest in preaching (although there are a few who keep trying to convince me I should) and I'm not clergy so I'm not able to lead communion. Maybe at some point I will take a more "active" role in worship but this opportunity was amazing. It meant so much to me to hear people talk about their experiences of interacting with the altars! The woman who had done them for the previous two sessions is a professional artist, so she was a hard act to follow, but I was pleased with what I had to offer. I have to be honest, it was a huge boost to my ego when someone made the passing comment "you obviously do this all the time" and I got to tell them that actually, no, I had never done this before.

In addition to my role there, I was also a convener/facilitator for my covenant group. The responsibilities of facilitating are passed around each group so that everyone gets to do it at least once. My group has been very cohesive almost from day one which has been a huge blessing so facilitation wasn't much of a chore. Still, it was something that was always in the back of my mind as I made my daily preparations so I was constantly trying to stay one step ahead of my "work" and pay attention to the things that had meaning and relevance to my entire group, not just me. Again, it was a great insight and experience, but it was different!

Although I didn't walk away with nearly as many epiphanies as I would have liked, I did have some wonderful experiences and conversations, as always.

I also walked away with a challenge - to begin thinking of my covenant for the second year. We are challenged to come up with a covenant that we can share as we shift our focus from our own inward journeys to more of the outward concern for/with others. I recently had an idea for mine, but I'm still working it all out in my head. No matter what I decide, it is something I will be sharing here as an extra layer of accountability.

It's hard to believe that it will be time to return before I know it. The thing I am looking forward to most about our next session is that one of our faculty members is also one of my former professors from Vanderbilt. I don't know if he'll remember me, but I'm thrilled to have the chance to learn from him again! The only downside to going back is that each time we get closer to the end. This community has already been so amazing and it's going to be very difficult when we are no longer gathering regularly!

So Where Are We?

I love how Jeff's and my adoption process has become such a communal, collective event that people are almost always asking "Where are we?" I don't mean that sarcastically either! I really do love how much love and support we've received throughout the process and how emotionally invested so many people have become in our family. Granted, many of these people were emotionally invested in us and our family before, but the way it's being expressed now is extra special to me.

Right now we are waiting. Now I know most of you are thinking "Gee, thanks for the breaking news. Want to tell us something new or useful?" Well, as a matter of fact, I do. Yes, we have been waiting, but we were waiting on our homestudy to be completed and reviewed by the nice folks at APAC. There were a few delays (which I kind of expected) but now that part is done and everything has been sent to Montgomery for final review and approval by the state. We are hoping that we will get our official approval/certification before the end of July. Then the really fun waiting begins when we will be waiting for a match!

So yes, we continue to wait. But we are in fact moving forward. With each day that passes, we get closer to the next step. Keep thinking about and praying for us and our child(ren). Each day brings us one step closer to forever!

Ezell's Catfish Cabin - Calera

A while ago Jeff and I were riding through Calera and noticed that Ezell's was moving in. While I'm not a huge seafood fan, Jeff loves it. Unfortunately, we are rarely over that way, so we only recently tried it.

We stopped in for lunch on Saturday right at noon but there was no wait and we were seated immediately. We were greeted quickly by our server (I believe his name was Zachery) and presented with a basket of hush puppies and two bowls of coleslaw. After he got our drinks we ordered. Jeff got the 3 piece fried catfish with french fries ($9.95) and a cup of gumbo ($6.99). I ordered the small grilled chicken tenders with cheese grits ($7.95). Zachery recommended the lemon pepper on the grilled chicken, so I decided to give it a shot.

Jeff's gumbo came quickly, and the hush puppies and cole slaw kept coming, too. I'm also not a slaw eater so Jeff ate all of that. He said it was a little sweet but had a hint of dill and was really nice. Our drinks also stayed full, which was great. Jeff really enjoyed the gumbo but it was expensive, so he said he probably wouldn't order it again. Before long, our lunch had arrived. I was pleasantly surprised to see that my chicken also came on a  cajun rice pilaf and with a little cup of remoulade sauce. Everything was very tasty. Jeff said the fish was very light and crispy, not greasy.  My chicken was juicy, and while the pepper was a little bit stronger than I personally liked, it was very tasty. The rice was great with just a little bit of kick to it. The cheese grits were creamy and very well seasoned. The remoulade sauce was good on the chicken, but even better on the hush puppies. The freshly made ranch dressing helped balance the extra pepper on the chicken, and it was very tasty.

Between the two of us we ate all of what we ordered, three baskets of hush puppies, and four bowls of coleslaw. We skipped dessert because we were VERY full but I did pick up a dum-dum on the way out! Next time, I'll ask for some remoulade to go with the hush puppies first thing. I also want to try the onion rings, and Jeff said he'd like to try the fried pickles and fried green tomatoes. Clearly, we need a large group to accomplish this because if left to our own devices we could both eat ourselves sick on just hush puppies!

If you have a chance, give them a try, and if you do let me know what you think! I'm definitely a fan.

"Made Up" Pasta Bake

Recently Jeff and I started a little weekly supper club with two dear friends, E&E. We alternate which couple hosts and cooks. The "visitors" bring the wine. We eat, talk, laugh, and have a wonderful time. This week we were hosting and I decided to make pasta. I figured it would be pretty good, but I didn't expect everyone to absolutely devour it! Mr. E was so impressed that there was no recipe, I just made it up as I went along. I'll do my best to describe it, but I'm sorry if I leave something out!

First, I cooked a package of ground turkey in a skillet. I seasoned it with a little bit of dried onion and some tuscan sea salt with herbs I got as a Christmas gift but save for "special" foods. I figured this was special enough! I drained the meat and wiped off the pan.

Next, I added one package of frozen spinach that I had defrosted and drained to the warm pan. I added a little bit more onion along with about 2 Tbsp of light garlic and herb cheese spread and a jar of light alfredo sauce along with a little bit of nutmeg (trust me, nutmeg with spinach or white sauce is awesome!) I didn't add garlic because the garlic & herb cheese was pretty strong, but if you just have garlic and cream cheese it would probably be pretty similar. I also stirred the meat back in with everything else.

Next, I cooked 1 lb of farfalle pasta and mixed it with all of the sauce. I dumped everything into a big casserole dish and topped it with a little bit of shredded 2% milk mozzarella and baked it until the cheese was melty. Basically I just stuck it in the oven and let it hang out while the oven pre-heated and I baked the rolls (for about 10 minutes). Everything was already cooked so it was just a good way to keep it warm until everyone got there. That, and I'm a sucker for melty cheese. It would still be super-tasty (and probably save a few calories) if you leave the cheese off the top.

The whole thing came together in probably 40 minutes. It probably could have been quicker but I wasn't in a rush (and I may or may not have been singing into my spoonula at points) I have a sneaking suspicion this would be an easy one to throw together the night before and then head up in the oven before serving. It might even freeze well, although I am not sure.

This should make about 8 servings and, according to the My Fitness Pal recipe builder, has 405 calories per serving. Not bad for a very tasty and filling meal. It's the perfect thing for spring time as it starts to warm up because it's still filling but not super heavy. Next time I might add some roasted red pepper. The spinach and turkey would probably also make a great filling for stuffed shells or lasagna rolls, too.

Do you have any "make it up as you go along" favorites? If so, please share. If you give this one a try, let me know, especially if you have any improvements!

Vaseline Spray and Go Moisturizer

I received this product free for testing from Influenster

When I got this product to test out in my VoxBox I wasn't quite sure what to think about it. Here is the description that came in the box:

New Vaseline Spray & Go Moisturizer Total Moisture is a continuous spray lotion that moisturizes and absorbs in seconds, and leaves skin feeling instantly soft - not sticky or greasy. Now you won't have to wait for your lotion to absorb before pulling on those skinny jeans! $7.99 for 6.5 ounce can

Clearly, I am not a part of the target market for this particular product! I have used spray on sunscreen for several years and absolutely prefer it, but the idea of "regular" lotion in spray form doesn't especially appeal to me, probably because I'm normally applying it right before bed and don't want to be spraying it on my sheets! In reading the directions on the back of the can, I noticed that you are still told to rub it in after you spray it on. To me that seems to sort of defeat the purpose. Still, despite my cynicism, I decided to try and keep an open mind.

I first decided to try it on my arm. The button on the top of the can was pretty hard to push, which meant that I didn't get the easy, steady stream you should get. Instead I got several little blobs so obviously I didn't have much choice, I had to rub it in. It absorbed pretty quickly  and felt pretty good on. I applied it first to only one arm and I could feel a slight difference between that arm and the arm without lotion, but nothing huge.

I was actually kind of surprised to find how much I enjoyed the scent of it. Although it doesn't advertise a particular scent, I noticed that there is "fragrance" listed with the ingredients. It's something light and a little flowery, kind of springy, but I don't know that it would clash with the fragrances I normally use in shower gel or body spray which is good.

I did see my first commercial for this product, and I doubt I would have noticed had I not recently received this. I will say that the commercial was probably one of the dumbest I have ever seen and had I not already known I at least like the way the product smells, that would have been enough to make me say "Nope, that's ridiculous! Not even going to think about buying it."

I tried it again another night on my legs after I shaved. While I was more successful in spraying an actual line, I still wasn't impressed. After I sprayed it on and rubbed it in, I still felt like it wasn't quite enough. The place I use lotion the most is on my feet. I'm not an especially prissy person so I don't get into different lotions for different parts of my body (except my face). This lotion was NOT designed for that! I tried to rub some that was left on my hands onto my feet, but after a few minutes it clearly wasn't enough and I ended up using some more of my regular lotion on my feet.

I'm sure I'll use all of this can, although I will not pretend to know how quickly! I seriously doubt that it's something I would buy again, especially without it being on sale or having some kind of coupon, but maybe my opinion will change over time.