Wednesday, August 8, 2012

Week 83 - A Premature End

It is after much thoughtful consideration that I have decided to end my 101 projects list early. Many of the items on my list got done. Some didn't. Some may still happen within the time frame I originally set. Some I could have done, some I couldn't have changed. If some things still happen that's fine and if they don't, that's ok too. The whole experience was an interesting one and it taught me a lot.

The biggest thing it taught me was that #1 you can't plan everything and #2 you can't will everything to happen your way and #3 life and priorities can change a lot in two years and that's ok if I am willing to change with them.

I honestly wasn't expecting existential life lessons to come from this challenge, but on some level the possibility of being open to those kinds of lessons is part of what I learned through this process, too. If not directly a result, it's a great example of how my life and I have changed over the past 101 weeks.

Don't get me wrong. I'm still a planner and scheduler and organizer. I still like to be in control and I like to be able to make things happen and cross things off a list. But I am learning to go with it when life changes. I am learning that I am not a failure as a human being when I am flexible and open to what the world might have to offer me rather than being so focused on what I can provide. In fact, I am able to live more fully and enjoy the beauty of life when I can truly embrace what it means to be in relationship rather than in isolation.

I have started some new projects and those are going to take priority for a while. I liked the idea of the list but I got to a point that I just plain didn't care about it anymore, and if I'm not doing it for myself, it's really not worth doing. I don't make any money from this blog (nor do I really expect to!) so I am not in a position to do stuff just to have material to write about. I may start another, smaller list next year, but for now I'm just going to live in the moment and enjoy all the things happening in, with, and through me!

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